There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

Things you buy now won’t wear out.

You can eat supper at 4 pm.

You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

You can sing along with lift music.

Your eyes won’t get much worse.

Your secrets are safe with your friends – because they can’t remember them either.

(Extracted from Parish Pump)

An airliner flew into a violent thunderstorm and was soon bumping around in the sky. One very nervous lady happened to be sitting next to a clergyman and turned to him for comfort. “Can’t you do something?” she demanded.

“I’m sorry ma’am,” said the reverend gently. “I’m in sales, not management.”